near the end of this

How do you trust the one that you love, when so many lies have been told?
When barriers broken, can't be renewed and words spoken, can't be undone?
My world has been shaken.
I am devastated and all that I feel is pain.
Why did you lie to me? What gain has it caused you?
I can't sleep.
Food has no taste, and my heart trembles in fear.
The dark is here and the light is no more.
For death I lie in wait.
My soul is dark, my soul is deceived.
Lies! You've told me lies!
Pain! You've caused me pain!
Hunger, I cannot feel.
Love, I cannot see.
Trust, I do not have.
You've burdened my soul with words that you've said, now how do I survive?
I can't do it alone.
I don't want to survive.
This life, it feels like a dream.
Two steps, taken left.
Two steps, taken right.
Teeth grinding, fists clenched.
Goodbye, I say, goodbye.
From the corner of a darkened closet,
Through tear-stained cheeks,
And a body that trembles.
A headache pounding and blood surging through,
I shout from my blood-stained hands,
God, help!
I've committed a murder! I've committed a sin!
And rage still flows inside me.
Teach me to sing, LORD. Teach me to shine.
For all I've been taught is how to die.
To sing like a bird that soars through the trees,
Instead of wallowing in sorrow and fear.
To pray like there is no one else near.
To laugh, to dance, to cry.
Who holds the key that will unlock the mystery of me?
Who wants to love me through all of this strife, through my scars,
And my tears and my shame?
I cannot believe it, there is but one,
And His name is Jesus Christ.
I feel...horrid and all out of place
Though a smile has crossed my face.
I don't want to be here or to cry anymore.
The inside of me hurts so bad.
"I can't sleep," I tell her, "I've got a disease."
"I've got cancer of the soul."